Wednesday, November 29, 2006

TURKEY DAY


thanksgiving was pretty cool this year
me and kio went over to natalys
shes an american thats been living in france for the last three (or four) years
she had close to 20 people over
it was quite a mix
americans, irish, canadian, scottish and of course french
i got to do the honors of cooking the turkey...and the chicken
why a chicken you ask?
well, here in franceland they dont have thanksgiving
why should they?
why should we for that matter?
ok, i wont go chandler on you i'll get straight into the story
turkey is to xmas here as it is to us on thanksgiving
henceforth most of the turkeys on this side of the antlantic have got a few more weeks before they line up at the tree stump
50 pound butterballs available all year round at any respectable supermarket is a luxury that most americans feel is a birthright
the day before thanksgiving i was wishing that i was back home
on this side of the pond turkeys have to be specially ordered from the butcher shop
so like good little foreigners we followed local protocol
somewhere between the host, the orderer (is that a word? i'll say no), the butcher and me (the pick-uperer [definately not a word]) there was a miscommunication and the bird for 20 people turned into a bird for 10 people
well the butcher said 10 but three of my buddies back home could have easily knocked that thing off while watching the miami dolphins woop the detroit lions
so here i am looking at this butcher take a small blowtorch to this poor turkeys kneecaps (i dont know why, i f anybody knows about this please tell me) while my mind absolutely scrambles
what am i gonna do?
i cant get another turkey!
if i dont show up to this shindig with enough foul for the lot im gonna end up on the table
so emergency measures had to be taken and the seed of sacrillege was planted
a chicken!
i'll cook a chicken with it!
every bone in my body shuddered at the thought of a lowly chicken being cooked and served alongside the majestic thanksgiving day turkey
as my fine feathered freinds would have most certainly understood, i was just trying to save my own neck
so
you might be asking
how could you do such a thing?
how could you cook a chicken and a turkey together?
easy
i put the turkey in first, waited a while and then put in the chicken
ok, it was waaaay more elaborate than that but that was the gist of it
and it turned out great
everybody was pleased (even though the poultry had to be doled out in meager rations)
and anyway were in france

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

MANGE TA SOUPE!

well here it is
the soup restaurant ive been talking about for a while now
this is the place right before we opened up
its been a month now and i think were doing pretty well
weve already got some dedicated customers and the compliments pour in daily
we actually turned away about 15 people today because we were full
its haard work though
we work six days a week and i dont even want to think about how many liters of soup have come out of that kitchen
this is vero my boss
shes also my sister-in-law that ive known since ive been in france
we get along pretty well aside the occasional fatigue inspired disagreement
she actually looks pretty tired in that picture
she looks way better than that
so its a soup restaurant but for the most part the soup turns out to be a starter
we have five pots of different soups going at all times
then we have salted pies cakes and crumbles
and then of course the desserts
all of the above are chock full of a consistently changing variety of fruits and vegetables
we usually find a way to get a bit of meat and cheese into the mix as well (no, not in the desserts...yet)
its about a five minute bike ride from my house so its pretty convenient to get to
im glad i dont have to add any commute hours onto the kitchen hours
last thursday i worked from 830am till midnight with a 10 minute break in the afternoon
then got up and did it again the next day
pretty soon shes gonna have to get someone to help me in the kitchen
its a madhouse during lunch
omigod i didnt mention the fruit juices
we got a juice machine that...well...makes juice
i hate the thing though
well be running around tring to stay on top of the orders and the dishes and then...
one banana-kiwi, one orange- carrot ect.
we gotta get these fruits and veggies skinned, trimmed and down the hatch and clean it in between juices
grrrr
but they sure are tasty
fresh pressed grapefruit and orange is my current favorite
i think my favorite soup so far has been the curry flavored chicken with coconut milk
the chestnut and bacon soup is not far behind
the tomato and goat cheese crumble last week was pretty delectable
and im not a big dessert man but apple strawberry crumble from the first week kicked butt
i think i take the greatest pleasure in knowing that most people dont know that theres an american in the kitchen
when the paper came by and interviewed us for the restaurant
they opted not to mention my nationality
out of fear that people would think the food would be something resembling mcdonalds
oh those frenchys

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

1st DAY

so i've been slackin' on the bloggin'
this is true
but i've got a great excuse
for one thing kio just started school
this is him on the first morning
it looks like he knows that those good ol' days of finger painting and cute little class trips are over
i must say even i was stunned by the inevitable word the first time it made its dark apparition
"homework"
oooohhh snap
i definately felt the twinge of another parental right of passage
he took it pretty well though
but then again he has no idea whats ahead of him either
im looking forward to helping him out
i think im going to learn "proper" french through his books
i think learning at his pace sounds just fine to me anyhow

Saturday, July 01, 2006

HOOOOOOOONK!!!!!!!!

well
france beat brazil
and they're honking
again
and again
and again
help!

Friday, June 30, 2006

LEGO SHADES

every month me and kio head over to the photo booth and take the picture of the month
if you've been to my place you'll see that the fridge is almost covered with photos

some funnier than others
its been a very lego month and pretty sunny so...

if you've got any ideas i'd love to hear them

FOOTBALL


ok
i'm not really into sports
well, watching them anyway
i think participation is way better than spectating (its my blog and i will mangle words, phrases, grammar, form and conjugisms as i please, thank you)
anyhoo
the other night i was in bed and asleep before 11pm for the first time in, oh...
3 years
it had been a long productive day and i'd earned my early slumber
at precisely 11pm i was awakened by the sound of cheering
but it was like dolby 5.1 surround sound cheering invading all the windows in the front and back of the apartment
being in a nocturnal-transitional state my first thought was that there was festival that was occuring on the port in front of my apartment and that i somehow failed to notice the buildup from my balcony
it sounded like a large local team just won a game of tug-of-war
the cheers continued sporadically as i lumbered out of my cozy haven
i shuffled over to the balcony doors and saw that the parking lot all along the port was full
about this time the honking begun
honk, honk, hooooooooooooooonk

honk,honk,hoooooonk,honk,hoooooooonk,honk,hoooooonk,honk,honk,honk,
honk,honk,hooooooonk,honk,honk,hooooonk,honk,honk,honk,honk,
hooooooonk,honk,honk,hoooooooonk,honk,hoooooooonk,honk,honk,honk,hoooooooooonk
till about 2am
every jerk with a car out that night had to share their joy with everyone within earshot
so what happened was france beat spain and made it to the quarter-finals of the world cup
soccer, known in these parts as football (except in ireland), is a BIG deal here
the world cup is an even bigger deal
like the olympics it takes place every 4 years and unlike our beloved world series of baseball, it actually involves the world
this year it is hosted by germany
i believe the enthusiasm was especially vigorous because of a little football history
8 years ago the world cup was hosted by france
they went all out in paris
president chirac even went as far as building a whole new stadium for the event
i guess the other 4 werent good enough
even the parisians were nice
ok, thats impossible but what was possible and did become reality was the french team becoming the champions of the world
in football
soccer
whatever
for the next 4 years these snail eaters would not shut up about their athletic prowess
allez les bleus! allez les bleus! (go blue!(the team color))
so
when the next 4 year football freakout (hosting shared by japan and korea (duh, south of course)) occured, the french were well revved up for another dashing display of pedial ferocity
much to the great dismay of the entire country they proceeded to have their behinds handed to them, losing the first three games and winning a miserable plane ride home to a very disappointed country
imagine that
you let your whole COUNTRY down
ooftah
so this year they're back in it
they're up against brazil
personally i dont think they have a chance
brazil is one of the best teams in the world
obviously
they also have arguably the best player in the world
ronaldinho
he is amazing
like i said i'm not into sports but this guy...
heres a short video
another little tidbit of world cup gossip is about the ball
we're all, more or less, used to this old classic or some fancy version of it

well, i dont know if the germans felt they needed to live up to their engineering reputation or if addidas just needed to sell more shoes by flaunting innovation but this is the new ball the world got

i agree, doesnt really look like its worth much gossip but tell that to the goalies
apparantly the aerodynamics of this thing is causing a big hubbub among the guys in charge of stopping it
its taken a few decades to adapt to the "curveball" (introduced by the brazilians, of course, in the 50's)
but this thing wobbles
i dont know
thats what they say anyway
goalies are a bit of a whiney breed so we'll just have to wait for some more solid evidence

Friday, June 23, 2006

dont be like mike
be like matt

FATHERS DAY

so i got a nice little surprise the other day
it wasnt fathers day yet but it was the last day of school before fathers day
so all the little french fries had their little ties waiting as they got picked up one by one

Thursday, June 15, 2006

LINKS

by the way when you see a word like this its a link to a website
(for the blogging impaired)

STAR WARS


i found this MTV performance of crazy
by gnarles barkely the other day
classic
and while i was there i stumbled across the bad boys of tatooine
it drags on a bit at the end but totally worth a look
this little other little gem proves that although they are the footsoldiers of the evil empire underneath all that white pvc they like to get a little wild every now and again
...and that they can get hurt
im no star wars geek but i did have quite a likin' to it as a kid

i still want one of those stormtrooper outfits

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

SOCCER DUDES




















this is the source of great pleasure at any time of the day
bored?
soccer
raining?
soccer
feeling competitive?
soccer
ok, we dont play that much but it is kinda fun
and we finally found a game that hes better at than me so he can genuinely whip my butt without me lettin him
thats a hunk of the cereal box so you get a gist of how it works
you tap the guys head and his foot flicks inward
the ball slides hella' good on the wood floor
we made little plastic goals
its world cup time here in france (and the world for that matter) so its everywhere
i walked down the street the other day and it was france vs. whoever and every bar had the tv or the radio on the match
heres the little guys for real
pretty tough lookin huh
you should see the hooligans!

Monday, June 12, 2006

THE KIO REPORT




















an old friend that hadnt seen kio in a few years recently asked me about him
what he was like, ect
so with this i responded...
he just turned 6 in april
he just started reading a couple of months ago
i dont know where that is according to the average but he does it in english and french so as far as im concerned hes ahead of most
he doesnt mix up the pronunciation either
the teacher said hes got skills too
but...
he is a total space cadet
at least as bad as me
you gotta tell him at least 5 times
mega a.d.d.
he can concentrate like a goldfish
hes a sweet kid
always smiling
always singing
sometimes he'll bust out an improv song
just riffin' on whatevers around
a garbage truck
a bird, whatever
hes always daydreaming
he's always in his head thinking about who knows what
when he started school here in jan he had a bit of a problem scrappin' which was never a problem before
like, daily fights
apparantly he'd have regular run-ins with the other ruffions from the other classes during rec time
one time i brought him to school in the morning and this kid comes right up to me and says
"kio, il est mechant" ("kio is mean" in french)
he just put his head down
i swear it was the saddest thing
i grabbed the kid by his shirt and asked him if he knew what they did to little kids that snitch where i'm from
just kiddin' (scared ya didnt i?)
what i actually did was try and take advantage of the opportunity and i asked the said snitch what kio does
he told me he pinches and what not
so with that, i told the little rat that kio wasnt really mechant and maybe its cause other kids pinch him too
with only a couple of minutes before i had to let the teacher get on with his business, i told kio that im not mad at him and to try and be nice and not hurt other kids or else everyone will think you're
mean
unless they hit you first of course
i didnt share that last bit of advice right there and then but its something we'd gone thru before and had to go over again a few times
i was pretty firm and clear on that one as soon as i started hearing about his scraps
i got beat on as a kid and it was awful
its a pretty degrading affair
if they know they're gettin' a clock back they usually arent as anxious to dish it out
one time he told me about this kid that was a notorious terror
he said the kid hit him first and he cried
then he said he hit him and he cried second
i wanted to high-five him but i settled with the 'fightings bad' spiel
he's doing much better now
he tells me almost every day "i didnt get punished today! not once!"
and hes getting along with the other kids too
there are these cute little twins that get all giggly when they see him
"cou-cou kio" (hello)
i better tell him to stay friendly with them
hes a total computer junky
everyday
"papa, can i play on the computer?"
everyday, over and over until he gets his way or i somehow get it thru to him that it aint gonna happen
i curb it as much possible and keep his exta-scholastic activity varied with indoor and outdoor stuff
we always kick the soccer ball to and from school
whenever we go anywhere in town we always ride bikes or he'll rock his rollerblades and most recently he's gone onto skateboarding
hes pushing on his own, tic-tac turning and hes already making respectable ollie attempts
i swear he got all four wheels off the ground once or twice
hes pretty decent on the rollerblades too
he jumps curbs and overrall has pretty good balance
hes a little lazy so i usually wind up towing him on my bike
when he does get on the computer its strictly educational and strictly english
if you can recommend any kids programs or web sites please do
his internet activity is limited to pbs and noggin (hes outgrowing noggin pretty fast)
occasionally i let him on lego just for some straight up fun (good for spacial comprehension too)
nick jrs got some good stuff but waaay too much advertising
he eats up evrything in his path
he figures em out real quick, masters them and moves on
he gets up way too early
usually before eight and hes bouncing off the walls till bedtime
i got it to where he'll let me sleep in if i really need to
he gets himself a bowl of cereal then he boots up the computer and does his thing
he can get the computer on, get on the browser, get on the site and start playing a game in about a minute
then hes click, click, clickin away
maybe theres a computer related profession in his future
he loves lego
he doesnt like to write or draw much
i almost always read him a bedtime story
in english, of course
i still dont have a tv but i had a portable dvd player for a bit and we'd watch some classic cartoons
woody, popeye, casper ect.
he loves spinach now
he asks for it!
when i was home i bought a can of popeye spinach (thanks brenda) with his picture on it and everything

i dont know how long i can keep that can there before he figures out i havent opened it and have been using other non superhuman strains of the vegetable
hes still a bit whiny
he gets really frustrated when hes tring to do something and its just not working
he'll pitch a fit sometimes
hes gotten way better though
hes pretty polite
says please and thank you unprompted for the most part
hes not very good at sharing
he doesnt usually have to
he requires alot of attention
all day its papapapapapapapa
no peace till bedtime
but he's great
a real sweetheart
i love him

Sunday, June 11, 2006






hello?...blogosphere?...its me

well, i finally did it
ok, its off to bed
i gotta take kio to school in the morning